The Wedding Party
- Your bridal party has to be involved with special tasks and responsibilities. They also have to pay for their wedding clothes, their transportation and should be able to reserve time to help during the preparation of the wedding as well as for the rehearsal and the wedding itself. You should advise them when you ask for their participation in the wedding party. The bride is responsible for their lodging if necessary.
- Go with your heart to choose them, regarding with everybody involved on both sides of the couple.
- The number of attendants is a personal choice.
- The number of bridesmaids and ushers can vary from one to twelve or more, but there should not be more bridesmaids than ushers.
- Count one usher per fifty guests to keep the seating flow going before the ceremony.
- The couple provide the flowers and accessories for their party.
- A present should be offered to the bride attendants by the bride to thank them for their participation in the wedding. It should be something that relates to the wedding, such as a memento of that special day. All the bridesmaids should receive the same gift. For the maid of honor, it could be something a little more special (brass picture frame, medallion, jewelry box). Do not forget children if so. For more information see rehearsal dinner.
- The ushers and best man also receive gifts from the groom (engraved mugs, pens)
- It is traditional for the bride and groom to give their parents gifts of thanks for all their support, or prepare a special dinner for them after the honeymoon.
- For more information, see: Rehearsal of the Ceremony
a) Bride's Attendants
Maid of Honor
- She assists the bride with pre-wedding tasks, like addressing invitations, recording and displaying wedding gifts, escorting the bride in shopping etc.
- If she is not a member of the bride's family, she usually arranges for, or gives a shower for the bride.
- She helps in the coordination of fittings for bridesmaids
- On the wedding day, she assists the bride at home, checks that each bridesmaid is properly dressed, has her bouquet and is settle for the transportation to the ceremony and reception.
- The maid of honor takes precedence at the ceremony, holding a bouquet provided by the bride, helping with the bride to adjust her veil, arranges the train when she turns, and holds her bouquet as needed.
- She may sign the marriage certificate as a witness if required.
- She stands next to the couple in the receiving line, sits on the groom's left at the bridal table and stays alert to the bride's needs during all the reception period.
- She helps the bride to change into her going-away costume if necessary.
- She makes sure all the guests have signed the guest book.
- She takes care of the gown after the wedding.
- She also may have to list the gifts or money received during the reception, move the gifts to the newlywed's home, or deposit money and checks in the bank.
- She brings back home wedding accessories (guest book, cake ornament, knife, special champagne flutes, extra cake or wine, telegrams etc.).
Bridesmaids
- Any of them may give showers. They are also invited to all pre-wedding parties.
- They may have to pick up their bouquets (provided by the bride) or participate at a pre-wedding photograph session at the bride's house.
- They have to be part of the bridal processional and recessional.
- One of them may be charged to keep an eye on the flower girl
- If the bride desires, they may stand in the receiving line or act as hostesses, circulating among the guests.
- They sit at the bride's table
- During the bouquet ceremony, they should encourage single women to participate.
- They should be the last to leave the reception site, making sure everything is clean and tidy, and they help to transport the gifts and accessories.
Flower Girl
- She is often a young relative of the bride, between 3 and 7 years old.
- The flower girl's parents are responsible for making sure she gets a good night's sleep before the ceremony. They should also be invited to the ceremony
- Traditionally, she carries a basket of flowers, provided by the bride, and walks directly before the ring bearer in the processional. Then she can quietly sit in the first pew or stand next to the maid of honor. For the recessional, she walks behind the couple with the ring bearer.
- She does not stand in the receiving line and sits with her family at the reception.
Ring Bearer
- His parents are responsible for his attire, except for the cushion. They make sure that he gets a good night's sleep.
- That young man (between 3 and 7 years old) carries the ring attached on a cushion. The best man takes it from the cushion at the proper moment. He can sit if he wants after that.
- He immediately precedes the bride in the processional, and walks next to the flower girl for the recessional.
- He does not stand in the receiving line and sits with his family at the reception.
Train Bearers and Pages
- Children (boys or girls) can be included in the processional. Their parents should be invited guests so that they may assume responsibility of their children after their duties are done.
- They always come in pairs and are needed only if there is a cathedral train. They carry the train during the processional and recessional.
Bride's Mother
- Traditionally she is responsible for the guest's list, with the help of the bride, the groom and the groom's parents.
- She helps to plan the details of the ceremony and reception.
- She helps to select the wedding gown, keeps track of the gifts, and displays them in her house (if the maid of honor can't).
- She also selects her dress and informs the groom's mother of her choice.
- The bride's mother is the official hostess
- She is the last person to be seated in the ceremony, and the first to be escorted after the recessional.
- She greets the guests at the head of the receiving line.
- She sits at the bride's table or at the parent's table.
Bride's Father
- He may get involved in many situations to help.
- Many brides still ask their father for the traditional benediction before their wedding.
- He rides to the ceremony with the bride in the limousine and waits in the vestibule with her.
- Then he offers his right arm to his daughter, escorts her to the altar, and sits in the first pew, next to his wife.
- He usually stands in the receiving line beside his wife. Some prefer to circulate between the guests.
- He could make a toast to the newlyweds or a welcoming speech. (See toasts, speeches and quotations).
- He keeps an eye on the bar and champagne supply and makes sure that everything is well managed.
- He joins the wedding couple during the first dance
- He leaves the reception last, after bidding all guests good-bye.
b) Groom's Attendants
Best Man
- He relieves the groom of as many details and of as much responsibilities as possible in the wedding planning process.
- He makes a presentation to the groom at the rehearsal dinner.
- He is the chief of staff at the wedding
- He may sign the marriage license as a witness.
- He is responsible for the wedding rings at the ceremony.
- He has the envelopes to pay the clergy person's fees and various services throughout the day, so the groom does not have to think about that.
- He makes sure that the ushers are there on time, have their boutonnières and gloves.
- At the ceremony, the best man enters the chapel from the vestry, (another procedure may be suggested by the officiant), immediately after the groom and stand behind him, slightly to his right, a convenient position to give the wedding ring.
- For the recessional, he walks with the maid of honor.
- He helps the couple to get into the car.
- Still being attentive on the needs of the couple while he is in the receiving line, the best man mingles with the guests until the bridal party sits down at the bridal table.
- He sits on the bride's right and he is responsible to make the first toast to the bride and groom, when everybody has been served with champagne or wine.
- He can assume the role of master of ceremony if there is none. He reads telegrams and letters that come in.
- After the groom, the father and the father-in-law, he is the next one to dance with the bride. He may also ask for the maid of honor, during the traditional first dance.
- He ensures that the reception goes as planned unless there is another wedding coordinator.
- He helps the groom change into his going-away clothes and escorts the couple after the reception. He may arrange the transportation, or drive the couple himself to where they have planned to go. (Their luggage should have been placed in the car before the wedding.)
- If he doesn't drive the couple, he stays until the end of the reception to help the maid of honor in her task.
- The first business day after the wedding, he should return the groom's rental clothes to the formalwear store.
Ushers
- They attend the bachelor dinner or arrange it themselves.
- They help to prepare last minute decorations for the ceremony.
- They are responsible of the assignment of the guests at the church.
- They should arrive at the place of ceremony at least 45 minutes before, to plan duties. They also have to escort the immediate family members to their places.
- They wear gloves.
Seating Guests:
- The bride's family and friends are seated on the left side of the aisle (facing the altar).
- The right side is reserved for the groom's family and friends.
- Eldest women should be escorted first.
- If one family has many more guests than the other, everyone may sit together to fill up the empty seats on one side.
Reserved Pews:
- Certain rows of pews will be reserved for family members or special guests.
- Parents sit in the first pews on their respective side.
- Grandparents sit in the second pews.
- You may reserve more pew is parents are divorced and do not sit together or if you have special guests
- These pews are marked with flowers or ribbons.
- Seat all other guests from front to back as they enter the church.
- The mother of the groom is seated about five minutes before the mother of the bride. She is escorted by the usher and her husband follows.
- When the mother of the bride is seated, it is a signal that the processional is about to begin. No guests are seated after the bride's mother is in place.
- After those duties are completed, the ushers go to the back of the church to lead the processional.
- After the recessional, two ushers will loosen the pew ribbons (if used) then pause at the side of each, signaling guests to file out row by row, from front to back.
- All the ushers should be prepared to direct guests to parking, restrooms or the reception site.
- They will also help elderly or disabled guests.
- They get any wedding party belongings left before leaving the site of the ceremony.
- The ushers do not stand in the receiving line, but they are seated at the bridal table.
- They help seating the members of the two families at the reception.
- The photographer may need one of them to join the people he wants in a picture.
- The ushers are alert to potential problems and are there to help in any case.
- They can also propose toasts for the bride and groom, and dance with the bridesmaids during the first dance.
- At the end of the reception, they help the bridesmaids transporting the gifts and making sure the site is clean.
Groom's Parents
- They are considered co-hosts of the wedding
- They have to contact the bride's parents and arrange a meeting with them. It could be a pleasant meal together at home or in a restaurant.
- They may host an engagement party (after the bride's family first hosts one) to introduce the bride to their family and friends.
- Helps to fill the guests list
- They are invited to all pre-wedding parties and hosts the rehearsal dinner.
- They arrive to the ceremony site fifteen minutes before the scheduled starting time.
- The groom's mother stands third in the receiving line, after the bride's father, if he takes part of the line; the father may stand on her side or mingle with guests.
- The groom's parents sit at the bridal table or at the parents' table
- During the first dance, they might be invited to dance with the newlyweds.
- Both parents stand near the door for good-byes.
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