Invitations

2. Invitations a) Guests List Decide the maximum number of guests you will be able to invite after determining the budget with your spouse. It is preferable to combine four different lists to be sure to get a master one. The bride, the groom, the bride's parents and the groom's parents should each make a list. Check your phone book, think about your friends, work or business relations, relatives that live far away even if you know they will not be able to attend, clergymember and spouse. Don't forget to indicate couples with children (if you plan to invite them), and singles with an escort. Be sure to have the full name and complete address of each guest. From the final list you will be able to have the number of invitations needed. It would be wise to order fifty extra invitations or more in case you decide to add some guests. Make two copies of your guest list for both sets of parents, adding notes besides names to help them to relate with the guests they don't know well (business partner, college roommate etc.). b) Procedure Order your invitations at least six months before the wedding. Choose a style of invitation that conforms to the formality and theme of your wedding. The invitations should be mailed four to six weeks in advance of your wedding; for a small wedding they may be sent as late as two weeks before the cermony, or done by telephone. Send invitations to the immediate family, the members of your wedding party and the clergymember, even though they have been invited informally. Don't forget to keep one for yourself as a souvenir! Spread the word to the bridal party and your families if children or dates are not invited. Each couple invited should receive an invitation The single people should receive their own, as well as children over sixteen. Each invitation can include a response card. This way, you will know exactly the number of people coming to the reception (do not include it for a ceremony invitation without reception). Set up a list to record who is coming or not as soon as they advise you by informal notes, response cards or phone calls. If you did not receive any response from some guests, call them to make sure they have received the invitation. When there are changes in the wedding plan you should advise your guests with a printed card (if enough time before the setting date for printing). The new date or place could be included in the original invitation, if it has not been mailed yet. When a wedding is postponed or cancelled after invitations are mailed, invited guests must be notified by telephone, telegram, or printed cards (if you're sure the guests will receive it before the setting date). Reasons other than death or illness in the family need not be mentioned. c) Correct wording of invitations The words "honor" and "favor" spell with a u for a wedding invitation (...request the honour of...The favour of a reply is requested...). The numbers in the date and time are usually spelled out (the eight of May, at nine o'clock). The invitations are usually sent in the name of the bride's parents, since they pay most of the expenses and are the hosts, but if the groom's parents are assuming a full share of the costs, the invitations should be in their name also. If you and your fiancé are paying, the bride's parents may still be listed at the top of the invitations. The reception invitations could be sent together or separately depending on your wedding plans. The invitation to the wedding ceremony alone does not include a R.S.V.P. On a reception invitation, if a reply is requested, you add, after your text, a R.S.V.P. or the mention: "the favour of a reply is requested." Common titles can be abbreviated (Mr. Mrs. Ms.). No other punctuation, except after abbreviations, are used in the text. Formal titles should be written out (Doctor, Captain, Reverend). Use two different lines if the second person wears a title. If the bride has a title, she should use her title only when the invitations are issued by herself and the groom. Otherwise, she "is the daughter of..." When the groom is an active member of the army, he uses his military title. When the father of the bride is a member of the armed forces, either on active duty, a high-ranking retired officer, or one who retired after many years of service, he uses his title. There are many combinations or creative possibilities for the wording and presentation of invitations. Your coordinator or your stationary agent could help you to get the right text in regard of your situation. The following information could give you a guideline: Traditionally the bride's surname is not included in the invitation text, unless it is different from that of her parents. To personnalize their invitations, both bride and groom often use their first and middle names without surnames. When divorced parents send a joint invitation, they can use their name on separate lines, remarried or not. Another alternative is to send two different invitations if they do not wish to have their names appear together; the mother sends the ceremony invitations as the host, and the reception invitations is included to the first one with the father's name as the sponsor. For a second marriage, it is not difficult to issue invitations by personal notes or even by telephone. When the guest list is large, invitation choices are the same as for a first wedding. A divorcée would use her own first name if she had reverted to her maiden name after her divorce. If she is young, the invitations may be sent by her parents, as were the invitations of her first wedding. A more mature widow or divorcée will send her own invitations. Handwritten invitations could be sent for an informal wedding of fifty or fewer guests. Then, the full names of the guests must be written out without any abbreviations. For a double wedding, if the brides are not sisters, the invitations are sent in the name of both brides' families, if both of the parents pay for the reception. For the marriage of two sisters, the elder sister's name is given first. d) Insertions Reception cards When all the guests invited to the ceremony are also invited to the reception, the invitation combines both. If some are not invited to the reception, you can have a reception invitation included with the ceremony invitation for the guests invited to the reception. This card includes the date, the time and the place of the reception. It is mailed directly in its own envelope. You may indicate that a guest is welcome by a personal vote included in the invitation: "we would be delighted to have you bring a date if you wish." Pew cards: small cards with a number may be enclosed with the invitation going to those family members who are to be seated in the reserved pews during the ceremony. The people receiving them take them to the church and show them to the ushers who escort them for large formal weddings. Similar cards are sometimes engraved "Within the ribbon," meaning that a certain number of pews are reserved for special guests but no specific pew is assigned. Admission cards: these small cards are printed to avoid having uninvited people to the ceremony or reception, when the wedding is held in a public place. Guests present the cards to ushers for admittance. Name and home cards: if you wish, you could send a card to inform professional colleagues or friends of your new name and address. It could be sent in the invitation, or alone after the honeymoon. Response cards: for convenience, these cards are almost always enclosed in reception invitations, with a self-addressed and stamped envelope. The date you choose for the last day to respond should be at least one month before the wedding date. Place cards: they are used to let the guests know where they should be seated. Plan to seat groups together (relatives, teenagers, college friends), as they will all feel more comfortable and you will solve and any seating problems. The place cards are also very helpful for the caterer if you have a number on each table. Rain cards: if an outdoor wedding is planned, that card will determine an alternative location in case of bad weather. Transportation or parking cards: to inform guests of special transportation or parking arrangements. Accommodation cards: will let the guests know that they have rooms reserved at the hotel mentioned on the card. Direction cards: gives directions for the guests coming in from various directions. Make sure your directions are complete and correct. All those cards could be included in the invitation. They should all match in style and paper quality. e) Envelopes The invitation is placed in the inner envelope (if there is one), folded edge first, facing the back side of the envelope. The names of the guests should be written on by hand (no address). If you invite children or a single person with the principal couple, their names should be written on a second line. If you add an insertion, it should be placed inside the invitation. A smaller pre-addressed and stamped envelope hold the response card, face up with the fold of the envelope over it. You can place that insertion inside or over the invitation, printed side up. Then you include both in the inner envelope (unsealed). The first envelope is usually inserted in an outer envelope, with the name of the guests facing the back side of the envelope, and sealed. Every one should be addressed by hand with black or blue ink. As for the invitation itself, common titles can be abbreviated (Mr., Mrs., Ms.) on the envelope, but formal titles should be written out (Doctor, Captain, Reverend). Teenagers should also have a title before their names (Miss, Misses, Mr., Messrs.) Wedding invitations are always addressed to both members of a married couple. Children's names should not appear on the outer envelope. To an unmarried couple, the invitations are addressed to Mr. and Ms.

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