3. Formality of a Wedding
- The formality of your wedding is the degree of decorum shown through all the procedures.
- The size of the wedding party, the number of guests, the location, the decorations and services offered at the ceremony and reception as well as the dressing of everyone will determine a formal, semi-formal or informal wedding.
- There are infinite variations but the following chart could give you a guideline.
a) Dressing Chart
b) Etiquette Tips in Dressing
- If you are a young bride being married for the first time, you are likely to choose a long white or off-white bridal gown. Whether you decide on a train or a long veil depends on the formality of your wedding and your own taste.
- If you are over forty, you may wear a long dress if you wish, but a pale pastel shade will be more becoming to your skin than white. Most mature brides do not wear a veil.
- Divorcées or widows definitely should not wear a veil. Pale colors are preferable to pure white, although white is acceptable with colored trims and accessories.
- A bride in uniform may carry a bouquet
- Gloves should reflect the formality and style of your gown.
- Prepare in advance what you will do with your gloves during the ring exchange. You can simply remove a short glove and pass it to your honor attendant. You can unstitch the underseam of the left glove's ring finger lengthwise, so you can slip your finger out. Another alternative is to wear gauntlets, which leave fingers exposed and may remain in place.
- Remove your gloves during the receiving line to shake hands. Also remove your gloves during dinner.
- The bridesmaids' gowns should be in the same degree of formality and follow the theme as the wedding gown.
- Bridesmaids may wear white although it can detract from, rather than add to the effect of the bride. If they do wear white, choose dresses with colored trims or add very colorful flowers and accessories.
- Gloves are optional.
- It is up to the mother of the bride to decide on the style and formality of her dress, although it is always courteous for her to discuss her thoughts with the mother of the groom before making a decision.
- As soon as she knows what she will wear, she should inform the groom's mother, who should choose a dress in similar style, for a more pleasant appearance on the receiving line. A stepmother should be informed too.
- Both mothers may wear the same color, but not the same dress.
- A mourning mother should not wear black for the wedding; she should choose a grey or lavender dress instead.
- The coats should be left in the vestibule of the church or synagogue.
- The groom, his best man, the father of the bride and the ushers should dress in the same style.
- The groom's father also looks good when he dresses in the same fashion as the other men, but he may also dress as the guests do.
- The groom and his best man will not wear gloves during the ceremony because of possible awkwardness in handling the ring, but the ushers will wear gloves from start to finish.
- Men in military uniform do not wear a boutonnière.
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