7. Ceremony
- The traditional ceremony takes place in a church and is performed by a clergymember. There are many variations based on religion, ethnicity, formality and kind of wedding. (More information on kinds of weddings, types of weddings, and civil marriages.
- Some prefer having a wedding that is more personal, (in a house, a museum, a boat, a garden) or that portrays characteristics of their personalities (skiing, underwater, on a horse). It could vary following the chosen theme of the wedding.
- You should arrange an initial appointment with the cleryperson to which you can go together to set a date and hour, discuss details, and choose texts.
- Be sure you know the minister's name and correct title.
- That person will receive a fee after the ceremony (paid usually by the best man to whom you gave the envelope).
- In any case, travel and lodging expenses are paid by the family if the clergyperson has to come from another place to officiate.
- Ask about condition regulations. If any restrictions do exist, you must, of course, respect them.
a) Timing for the ceremony
- 45 minutes before the ceremony
- The ushers should arrive to make last minute arrangements, and to seat any early arrivals.
- 30 minutes before the ceremony
- The groom and his best man arrive to check last minute arrangements with the minister. They stay in a side room until they receive the signal to enter the church.
- 15 minutes before the ceremony
- Family members and honored guests arrive and are escorted by the ushers
- 5 minutes before the ceremony
- The groom's parents arrive and she is escorted to her seat by the usher, followed by her husband.
- The bride's mother is escorted to her seat just before the procession begins
b) Reserved Pews
- Several front pews on each side of the center aisle (same number of each side) are reserved for immediate members of the family and honored guests.
- Those people are usually notified by a pew card or by word of mouth.
- They just present their card to the ushers who will walk them to their place.
- The first row on the left side is for the bride's parents. If divorced, the bride's mother sits on the first row with her escort and the father will sit on the next or third pew with his escort.
- If a parent is alone, he or she may be seated with a close member of the family in the first row.
- Grandparents and members of the immediate family will come next.
- The same procedure is applied on the groom side, on the right side.
- If the number of guests is higher on one side of the aisle, they are evenly distributed on both sides.
- For a small wedding, you can ask close family members or friends (even grandparents) to welcome the guests on your ceremony site, to give a warm atmosphere at the entry.
c) Procession
- The attendants take their places in the proper order:
- The ushers lead the procession two by two, the shortest men first.
- Then the bridesmaids come next, walking in pairs also, or, it they are few or an uneven number, they walk in single file.
- The maid of honor comes just after them.
- The ring bearer and the flower girl follow together or one after the other.
- Finally, the bride walks on her father's right arm.
- At precisely the time stated on the invitations, the music starts and the procession begins.
- Some churches have two center aisles. In such cases, use the left aisle for the procession and the right aisle for the recession. Then, the families are seated on each side of the center section and spread on each side of the aisles.
- A slow natural walk is safest and prettiest.
- The groom and his best man stand at the altar, side by side, facing the back of the church.
d) At the Altar
- At the front of the church, the ushers have two choices: separate on each side, or stay on the groom side. Same procedure for the bridesmaids, but on the bride side. Is has to be discussed at the rehearsal.
- The maid of honor stays at the bride's left or behind her.
- The best man stays on the groom's right and the ring bearer behind him, beside the ushers.
- The flower girl stands behind the maid of honor, close to the bridesmaids.
- When the bride reaches the groom's side, she lets go of her father's arm (it could be thoughtful with a kiss), transfers her bouquet to her left arm and gives her right hand to the groom.
- The maid of honor helps her with her train and bouquet.
- The minister faces them.
- Then the father turns and joins his wife in the front pew. If the flower girl is very young, he could take her hand and lead her to the front pew to sit with him.
Wedding Ceremony:
- Your clergyperson will help you through the ceremony and tell you what to do as it goes on.
- When it is time for the ring ceremony, the best man takes it from the ring bearer's cushion and hands it to the minister. (The bride should have transferred her engagement ring to her right hand). If there is no ring bearer, the best man keeps them in his pocket.
- The wine ceremony is usually part of the religious wedding ceremony.
- The traditional wedding hiss celebrates your new union.
- The signing of the register has to be done before the recessional.
- After the ceremony, the maid of honor hands the bride her bouquet and straightens her train for the recession.
e) Recession
- The flower girl and ring bearer walk together behind the bride at the groom's right followed by the maid of honor and the best man, side by side.
- The other attendants step forward, two at a time, each usher escorting a bridesmaid down the aisle.
- If a ribbon is in place on the pews entry, two ushers would be assigned to take off the ribbon on each side, one pew at a time, after the recessional, to prevent a premature exit of the guests by the central aisle.
- If confetti is used, be sure to use those that are ecologically correct, and ask if you are permitted to do so before you plan it.
- A coordinator could be very helpful for the ceremony, the rehearsal and even the reception. They are familiar with all the procedures, know the people involved and where to find everything you need. You can save time and money by hiring one for all the preparations of you wedding or for the day of your wedding exclusively.
More information on planners / consultants / coordinators
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